Dear Russell, I'm sorry I'm only telling you this now, when things are far too fucked up to ever get back under control, but at least I am being honest. I have not always been honest to my friends when I talk about you, but it's just because I was afraid of what we had. You were way too nice and supportive of me, and I told you that, but I never really understood it myself. It's the saddest thing to think that only now am I really comprehending what you meant to me. Being with you was like the most intense feeling of being home I have ever felt, and I will stick to that no matter what happens between you and I from here on out. I don't really know if you dislike me now, or wish I never would have met you, but I think every moment we had together (the good and bad) was worth the past two months entirely. I don't want to end our relationship on such a harsh and definite note but that's what you seem to want, so I can't stop you. I just want you to know that I honestly care for you and most likely always will, no matter what I say. I hope I can see you again, without all this negativity once more. But I guess that's up for me to decide. -Jessica
