Dear Russell, I'm sorry I'm only telling you this now, when things are far too fucked up to ever get back under control, but at least I am being honest. I have not always been honest to my friends when I talk about you, but it's just because I was afraid of what we had. You were way too nice and supportive of me, and I told you that, but I never really understood it myself. It's the saddest thing to think that only now am I really comprehending what you meant to me. Being with you was like the most intense feeling of being home I have ever felt, and I will stick to that no matter what happens between you and I from here on out. I don't really know if you dislike me now, or wish I never would have met you, but I think every moment we had together (the good and bad) was worth the past two months entirely. I don't want to end our relationship on such a harsh and definite note but that's what you seem to want, so I can't stop you. I just want you to know that I honestly care for you and most likely always will, no matter what I say. I hope I can see you again, without all this negativity once more. But I guess that's up for me to decide. -Jessica
deadbrotherman: you would fuck your aunt too
deadbrotherman: and then you would fuck your mom
deadbrotherman: EWW!!
PigPen668: haha
deadbrotherman: ...kidding haha
PigPen668: its always like funny.... then you just go to far and people look at you weird and kinda back away
PigPen668: i do that too... when i call people "baby-fuckers"
PigPen668: hehehe
deadbrotherman: hahaha i know!
deadbrotherman: like i keep going and going
deadbrotherman: and then its dead silence and a tumble weed rolls by
deadbrotherman: and im like, umm...i didn't mean that
PigPen668: hahahaha
deadbrotherman: and then i fall on the floor and have convulsions
PigPen668: aww theresa
deadbrotherman: haha
PigPen668: you know i love it when you go to far with your jokes
deadbrotherman: haha!! oh well thank you, honey bunches of oats
PigPen668: its just disturbingly cute
deadbrotherman: i try to go to far, just for you
PigPen668: YAY
deadbrotherman: just so you're the only person laughing so you look dumb and then i run away so it looks like you're retarded
PigPen668: haha.... wait...
Well, I had another boring weekend but eh, what more was to be expected? I got to thinking though, when I was reading Amanda's journal, jesus fucking christ do people love amanda. but its understandable, shes a fucking sweet, caring person and genuine too. same with theresa. shes funny as hell and seems to be the only person on this earth with the ability to take a joke anymore. then theres laura, my god i think if laura wasnt alive at this moment in my life i would have been dead a long time ago. shes just that nice to EVERYONE. its CRAAAAZY.
and molli... dear god. i AM the mini-molli, and shes still my fucking hero. like someone i can really fucking understand. for gods sake i went to europe with her, she was my stand-in mother... for like a week... and she STILL likes me. its amazing. I HEART POE!!!!
god... then theres emerson, shes like my little stoner friend who doesnt smoke pot which, might i say is radical. and dominique... lord knows i would have lost my mind sometime last week if it wasnt for our little talks and walks... goddamn i was a poet and i didnt know it. heh...
DAMN... im so glad i have you kickass people. go eat a cookie or something... you deserve it. and when this month of suck ends expect a call... a big call full of LOVE just for you. OH YEAH BABY!! especially molli... dammit i love you. hmm.... yay for all of you! im taking a shower.
Hmmmm.... I know I haven't posted anything in forever, so I can't complain that nobody looks at this thing anymore because they'd be looking at the same thing every time.
Anyways, everyone bow down to Amanda and look at her livejournal (www.livejournal.com/users/amandabnkface41/) and admire the pretty pictures. Yes, they are gorgeous, I know. Someone needs to give me that site by the way.
Yay, for Molli and Theresa. According to them I'm a skater kid (or as Molli puts it "a skate slut"). Which is always fun to hear, because it helps my little emo feelings so. Hehe...
My little life is alright now, I guess. Nothing I cant handle, but I definately am going through my big emo phase right now. Complete with big emo music and big emo hair and big emo feelings. But like I said, its a phase and the music and hair thing will go away... dunno about the feelings though. Oh well, fuck it, I'm dating a big emo kid (whom I love) so what's to be expected...
*sigh* I must go finish my digital journal.... bleh
WHATS UP!!!
i woke up today in an uncommonly good mood. one of those weird moods were you just want to dance. yes, DANCE. so i have been. alot. its great.
anyways, dealing with the last entry i think i will stay in salem because i really dont think i would fit in at davie. its not that i would be an outcast or anything i just think the whole vibe bores me. at least at salem there are plenty of fucking crazy bitches i can chill with. and i love me some crazy bitches, almost more than sleep. but given a choice i would pick the bitches because theyre just more fun.
alright im going to do something AWESOME, bye you fools!!
Yes its late and I'm supposed to be doing.... whatever. Oh well, im in a big emo mood and remembered i had a blog. because you know i forget all the time. well im seriously contemplating going to davie next year because salem is really getting to me. honestly, i dont think ive ever been as exhausted in my life. theres no way to get out of it either, weekends are always parties and the weeks are full of school. theres no time for any fucking sleep! and i looove me some sleep... well i still dont know because everyone always says that they arent coming back but the majority does and they dont regret it. still i dont know. i forgot what pulic school was like, weirdly enough and i dont even remember if i liked it or not. oh well, i cant do anything about it this year ill think about it some other time.
I dont even want to go into detail of my weekend because there was nothing important or interesting, besides the fact I talked to Amanda R at the game... which didn't go over too well. But OH WELL thats depressing, and since Im in a good mood we'll not go into that.
I would, however, like to thank everyone (including Chris, Sarah E, Will Poe, AJ, Sarah Barah, Theresa, and especially Molli) for being uber-nice to me while I was sad. It means alot that you understood my temporary emoness.
ALL THE AMAZINGLY NICE THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID TO ME TODAY!!:
deadbrotherman: i love yee deadbrotherman: just wanted to let you know
PigPen668: everyones being so nice today
PigPen668: it makes me feel alot better
sSpRoFeSsIoN: i love you sSpRoFeSsIoN: netime
sSpRoFeSsIoN: i like being nice :-)
Slerta: you're neat.
Slerta: :-)
poekennedy: if we both had penises, you would be my gay love partner of choice jessica
Slerta: you deserve to be happy. Slerta: you are swelltastic
AND OF COURSE THE FUNNIEST THING TONIGHT:
Slerta: choclate cake
Slerta: is
Slerta: like
Slerta: jim morrison
Slerta: naked in your bed
Slerta: and
Slerta: alive
PigPen668: im glad you added that last part
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! YOU GIVE ME THAT FUNNY FEELING INSIDE! hmmm... well maybe not....
Mighty Molli Mouse and Old Man Carol are here with me this beautiful night and it has so far been sweet as hell. No complaints seriously.... Napolean Dynamite might be the funniest movie ever made, but then again Team America- World Police hasn't come out yet so I might be mistaken...
whats up motherfuckers this is molli, jess is currently having a little window party with the c-meister. man, i fucking love these people. jess just said that me and carol should crash here every weekend and i freaking couldn't agree more. whoa i went from fucking to freaking in one sentence. apparently i grew a conscience. and/or morals. but, the balls are still intact, so dont even worry about that. anyway, much love to t-money and amanda, because they are the sexiest bitches alive. as of tonight. although, their aint no love in this motherfucker, their aint no love for you or your other brother. I GOT THIS KILLER UP INSIDE OF ME, I CANT TALK TO MY MOTHER SO I TALK TO MY DI-ARY. one, two, three, four, FIF. i plede the fizzif. i have a secret document to show you... FIF. okay. i'm done. one love. "okay i love you too."
You supersonic rockers of satan! you want sum crack? I got cracks o all kinds blood. We straight hoodin right now my fuckers. Jessica's doin little bit of diss...whoooole lotta dis she crazy yo...oh this is Carol..Me and J wanna punch the shit outa someone right now. MMEEEOOOWWW( scary lil kid from The Grudge man) "I had a dream you were a dick last night" - why did you have a dream I was an asshole? " no I was the asshole". Screw you bitches... I'm goin' home. My hoodie still smells like a mexican restaurant. J and Money have the cutest window butts ever! JESUS JESUS JESUS I have hiccups like a bitch..a bitch with hiccups...bad ones.
Yay for the crazy motherfucking crackheads at my house right now. You , call me, when you get this. Alright? Okay.... Ill be waiting. Bitch.
